Braxton’s Fall Festival: Day 12 – Shalini (Guest Post)

Braxton’s Fall Festival – What’s Happening Today?

Welcome to Braxton’s Fall Festival. Today we’re celebrating the launch of Haunted House Ghost with a thirty-one (31) day virtual festival, where we share the scoop on all the exciting book promotions coming up this month. Who’s ready for…

Our fantastic month-long Fall Festival wouldn’t be complete unless we heard from some of the amazing people who’ve been part of my writing life for the last two years. One of those people is our GUEST POSTER today, and she’s prepared a hilarious and all-too-real fantasy conversation between Kellan, several of his cohorts who love to tease him, and me. Don’t ask how I got mixed up with this bunch… but when I read this post, I nearly wet myself just like Kellan in Broken Heart Attack. Shalini must live inside my head if she was able to create this scene… Without any further ado, I turn this post over to our guest.

***

SHALINI: Hey Guys, we are here!!

Where is here? I don’t go to places like here.

Haven’t we seen this nincompoop somewhere?

Why has she got us here? Is there a dead body?

Don’t worry, Little Ayrwick, I have ol’ Betsy.

SHALINI: Hush, everyone… Welcome to Jay’s blog. You do know him, right? You havta… C’mon, he created you!! Jay, meet your friendly, sweet characters.

*frowning at them*

And y’all, you did agree to say a few words about him. Nice things…remember? This is a guest post, AND YOU ARE GUESTS. You too, Myriam.

*turning to Jay*

Hey Jay, thank you for having me and inviting the old gang on your blog.

Who you calling old?

I will slap you silly.

Where is the dead body?

Ol’ Betsy is out.

JAY: Shalini, what did you do? Did you use voodoo to get them out? Didn’t I lock them up in the box? Don’t you know what happens if they escape?

SHALINI: Don’t worry, Jay. I have it all under control. Myriam, you are first. Up you go.. Jay, give her a hand. Be nice, Myriam, this is not your classroom.

*Wagging a finger at her*

MYRIAM: Stop that, young lady. Stop touching my patootie, you ruffian. I got rid of Kellan, and now I have you two after my derriere.

*Jay is sputtering, Shalini is cringing*

“Hell is empty and all the devils are here.”

This man here James, not Jay, is good enough a writer, not up to my caliber, of course. He did give me a great part in book 1 but then sidelined me in the rest. Didn’t even bother to invite me to a collaboration in the October posts.

“A fool thinks himself to be wise but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.”

I have read his Halloween posts, on and on he goes, doesn’t he? I wish his book would be made into a movie.

Aww, Jay, she is so sweet.

I guess can tolerate her a bit.

Shalini, I think you do have some control over her.

SHALINI: You really think so, Myriam?

MYRIAM: Young lady, I do. I wish that he would come on television. THEN I CAN SHUT HIM OFF!!

“Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass.”

Gawd, Jay… She is killing us..hmm…You. Can I tell her to get off?

Not if you value your life. Why did you invite her?

Why did you create her, Jay?

*rolls eyes at both of us*

SHALINI: Thank you, Myriam. I think you have said it all. Nana D, I am sure you have something to say, hopefully, kind words.

NANA D: Ah James, nothing like my brilliant one, Kellan. A bit of a numbskull, if you ask me. But I have to say, his books have an atmosphere. Haunted House Guest, all about Fall and Halloween and ghosts… You did read his descriptions in that, didn’t you? I am sure you wrote a review.

*looks at Shalini*

SHALINI: Yes, Nana D. I did…

NANA D: Didn’t you think he is wordy?

SHALINI: *gulps visibly and looks at Jay* I didn’t understand this question, Nana. I don’t know what is wordy.

*Nana D harrumphs and continues*

NANA D: He writes pages and pages and then forgets about us. We have to keep tapping his shoulder to remind him to fit us in. I would like to slap his bum silly.

*Jay glowering at Shalini*

*Shalini is flabbergasted*

SHALINI: Nana D, that’s it. You are done. Kellan, what can you tell us about Jay?

KELLAN: Oh, he is me. But I am the better version. He did give me great characterization, but I brought life to his words. He is like a lowly assistant director, and I am the star of his script. And I did solve all the murders. Jay is just the shadow riding on the crest of my success. “I’m not done recovering from perfection.”

*Jay intensely glaring at me*

*Kellan puts on an innocent face*

JAY: Shalini, stop him right now. Or this would be the last time you are anywhere near my blog.

SHALINI : *hissing at Kellan* Et Tu, Brutus? You turncoat!! Jay, this is so not what I expected when I called them. I am sure April would have something good to say, she is in law enforcement. She is supposed to. She cannot badmouth the taxpayers.

APRIL: James does write great subplots, a good whodunit. His murders are always entertaining, great puzzles. But what’s with the 100s of characters. I run a small county with Connor and Flatman. How do I run after or remember ’em all? Is James loco? He frustrates me completely, making his characters run amok. Some days I would like to turn Ol’ Betsy on them.

*looks evilly at us*

Why don’t I start with you both today?

*Removes her gun from the holster and fires*

“The common curse of mankind, folly and ignorance, be thine in revenue“

Let me at him, you nincompoop

I am better than Jay. Shalini, let me run this blog from now on

Connor and Flatman, don’t let him escape

*shots fired again*

SHALINI: Jay, your characters have all gone mad, what did you do to them in these 5 books? Jay, Jay… Did you run away, leaving me with the mad-hatters? Where are you hiding?

*** TO ALL OF READING JAY’S POST ***

Jay has disappeared. I am now in hiding too. If you see these characters on your blog, run… Run far away. Help! Jayyyyyyyyyyy…. Who is going to end this post?

***

Hey… It’s Jay again. At this point, the recording of the conversation was cut off. I have no idea what happened, and I woke up with a concussion and a blindfold pulled so tightly across my eyes that I’m permanently damaged. I hope everyone else got out okay… if you see Shalini, please let her know I hope she’s feeling better after that ordeal! It’s been months since I heard from her. No one survives that kinda torture, do they? See ya again soon…

***

This scene was hysterical, but Shalini has something up her sleeves and plans to post another item today. Please be sure to stop by and visit her too through this link. This was her post today, and I just linked it but haven’t even read it yet. I’m heading over to do that now. Shalini has been there with me since the beginning. After reading Watching Glass Shatter and Father Figure, she helped me decide to focus on a mystery series… and ever since that point, she’s been integral to the launch of the books. Throughout all five, Shalini has been an editor, a beta reader, a sounding board, a cover reveal organizer, and a friend. I usually toss my crazy ideas and designs at her for input before I launch them. Sometimes, she loves them. Other times, she tells me I’ve gone astray. Through it all, despite a number of times where we had different opinions, we always maintained our friendship. I’m utterly beyond grateful to have someone as helpful, generous, and intelligent as her on my side. I’m also honored she volunteered to take the lead for a day, and I hope you enjoyed visiting us both at Braxton’s Fall Festival.

***

The section below here will repeat at the end of every successive post, so we don’t have to explain the Fall Festival in the beginning each day. We’ll dive right into the content but also allow newcomers to catch up. Previous posts include…

October 1st – Overview & Kickoff

October 2nd – Great Escapes Book Blog Tour

October 3rd – GIVEAWAY for FREE Kindle Copy of Haunted House Ghost

October 4th – Name Kellan’s House Poll

October 5th – Excerpt from Academic Curveball

October 6th – Guest Post Interview with Noriko on Halloween & Autumn

October 7th – Get to know the Core Characters

October 8th – Bookmarks, Book Formats, Book Signing

October 9th – Guest Post Interview with Tyler & Characters

October 10th – GIVEAWAY for FREE Signed Copy of Haunted House Ghost

October 11th – Excerpt from Broken Heart Attack

What is the Braxton Fall Festival?
For the entire month of October 2019, we are celebrating three events: (1) Autumn, (2) Halloween, (3) Haunted House Ghost, the fifth book released in the Braxton Campus Mysteries by author James J. Cudney. Each day, we will share a post to promote the new book with readers and fans. Throughout the 31 days, we will have guest posts, excerpts, giveaways, contests, videos, blog tours, and other surprises. You can currently purchase the book from Amazon as a Kindle or a physical copy. In the near future, it will be available in large print and as an audiobook. To learn more, sign up for the author’s quarterly newsletter or follow him on this site and any of his social media profiles from the About the Author page.